tragedy

“There has been a shooting at an elementary school in Texas.”

 When I was growing up, I didn’t really play this conversation out in my head. You know, the one where we have to sit our kids down and tell them that there has been a shooting in an elementary school.

Just as we started the conversation I had to stop. The tears were already coming. I immediately became so overwhelmed at what I had to tell them. “Stick to the facts,” I thought. Less emotion and only necessary information.

I took a minute and continued.

“There has been a shooting at an elementary school in Texas.”

They started in with the questions.

“Is he going to come here and kill us too?”

“Did kids die?”

“Why did he do that?”

“How can we help them?”

“What happened to killer?”

This last question came from my son. I’ve mentioned this before, but my son is a really special human.

I explained that the boy who committed this crime must have been very sad and very angry. We don’t know much about him, but we can assume these things and his family must need us to pray for them too. And here is what he said next,

“Well Mom, if he was sad and angry then why did the cops have to kill him too?”

Oh man.

In that moment Smith could see right past the hate, and he got to the heart of the matter.

Hurt.

We’re all hurting.

I wanted to respond with a “well, buddy, this is really complicated,” and it is, but it is also simple. This young man was hurting, and angry and because of that he killed beautiful children and teachers and caused more hurt. Unimaginable hurt. It’s complicated, yet simple. Both/and.

Hurt people, hurt people.  

There are things Smith cannot understand yet. There is pain that only parents can imagine and even then, if we haven’t experienced it, we still cannot know.

There are consequences to actions. There are consequences to inaction.

As grownups in the United States of America we have a responsibility. A responsibility to the children in our homes and in our communities. To love them and care for them. To protect them. To honor them with our words AND with our actions.

May we not hurt each other as we grieve. May we watch our tongue (or our fingers, rather). May we lead with love and questions. And may we realize, just like Smith, that we all need some extra care and attention.  May we look for the hurting and look for the helpers. May we find and take action. May our love and respect bring change and peace.